


The Greatest Proposal

by FarAwayInWonderland



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - The Proposal Fusion, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Racism, The Carlyles Are Not All Bad, The Proposal AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-03-20 19:18:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13724292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarAwayInWonderland/pseuds/FarAwayInWonderland
Summary: “Don´t worry,” Barnum said to Charity. “Well, seeing as the situation is as it is, I think we can just announce it now.”“Announce what?” Anne asked.Before Phillip could even process the situation, Barnum had already grasped his hand and proclaimed: “Phillip and I are getting married.”OR:The Proposal AU that every fandom needs to have where P.T. Barnum decides that in order to avoid getting deported he needs to marry his assistant Phillip Carlyle. Charity knows what´s up, Anne just rolls her eyes at those two idiots and Phillip doesn´t really know what´s happening to him.





	1. To The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That´s not quite the proposal Phillip had in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I finally got around to watch "The Proposal" yesterday and together with the first Coffee Shop AU in this fandom that was just posted yesterday I suddenly felt the urgent need to write The Proposal AU for "The Greatest Showman". Because, honestly, every other fandom´s got at least one of those and TGS deserves one, too. 
> 
> This fic will probably have three to four (maybe five if I´m feeling really ambitious) chapters and while it is a Proposal AU, it will diverge later on, because the dynamics between the characters here are just different than in the movie (P.T. would never leave Phillip with just a stupid note, okay and he also wouldn`t take any of the Carlyle parents' abuse). 
> 
> Also, I literarily know nothing about immigration law lol and English isn´t my native tongue and this wasn´t betaed :D

If people asked what Phillip Carlyle was most proud of then it wouldn’t be his business degree from Harvard, his well-kept appearance or his (according to the people who had actually heard him sing) pleasant singing voice. No, the thing he was most proud of was that he had bribed the barista of the coffee shop in his way to work to always have his order ready when he entered the shop on his way to work and didn’t have to bother with the long line of annoyed and exasperated business men and women who were all typing away on their smartphones while they waited their turn.

“Thanks, Molly,” Phillip told the blonde girl as he took the two cups she was handing over to him, much to the displeasure of the woman he had cut in line. “You´re a life saver.”

“You say that every day,” Molly replied. 

“And it´s true every time,” Phillip said while he was already turning around and walking out of the coffee shop. He still had fifteen minutes to reach the office, enough time that he didn’t need to run. While he trailed through the mass of bodies that occupied the sidewalk, his mobile began to ring and with much effort Phillip was able to pull it out of the pocket of his coat.

His mood took an instant downturn when he saw the caller-ID on the display.

“Hi, Dad,” Phillip greeted his father with as much cheeriness as he could muster this early.

“Hello Phillip,” his father greeted him back, his voice stiff and proper. “I am calling to inquire if you will grace us with your presence at your mother´s birthday party.” Phillip rolled his eyes as he avoided a woman with her buggy. He didn’t know anyone but his parents who talked like they came straight out of a regency novel.

“Of course, I´m coming,” Phillip confirmed. “It´s Mom´s birthday after all.”

“I will let the personnel know,” his father replied. “Will you bring company?” Phillip bit back the sarcastic retort that was on his tongue and just answered with a simple “No.” Obviously finished, his father didn’t even bother to properly say goodbye before he hung up. With an annoyed huff, Phillip put his phone back in his pocket and continued his way.

The office building that housed Barnum Entertainment was on Fifth Avenue, same block as the MoMa, so Phillip had to make his way through quite a lot of tourists before he finally entered the lobby. The receptionist behind the desk nodded at him, a gesture that Phillip returned as he made his way to the elevators.

As always, the offices of Barnum Entertainment were barely constrained chaos. People were typing on their keyboards while simultaneously using their phones and drinking coffee. One man was crying while another woman was sitting under her desk, eating chocolate. Phillip didn’t even spare it a single glance, too used to the various weird coping methods people employed around here that it would make him wonder.

Of course, that was the exact moment that he bumped into the mailman and had the whole content of his coffee spilled over his pristine shirt.

“Shit!” he cursed as he looked down on the brown mess. The mailman just stared at him with wide eyes before he scurried away. “Shit.” Phillip head someone snort and when he looked up W.D. was trying way too hard to look concentrated while he stared at his screen.

“Your shirt,” Phillip spoke as he leaned on the wall of W.D.´s cubicle. “Give it to me.”

“You wish,” W.D. snorted.

“Give me your shirt and I won´t tell Anne about that thing you did last Thursday,” Phillip threatened and W.D. turned pale.

“You wouldn’t!” he exclaimed.

“Wanna take the risk?” Phillip challenged him. W.D. seemed to be torn, but Phillip´s dead serious expression seemed to finally convince him that it would be better to walk around with a stained shirt than to face the wrath of his sister.

“Alright, but you´ll give it back after washing it.”

“Of course,” Phillip assured him. He put the surviving cup of coffee on W.D.´s desk and began to undress himself, W.D. doing the same. Nobody paid them any attention; this wasn’t the weirdest thing that had happened in these halls, anyway. So, five minutes later found Phillip with a slightly too large shirt at his desk just in front of Barnum´s office, waiting for the man to appear.  

When Barnum finally did step out of the elevator and into the office, the chatter immediately stopped and everyone just stared. Barnum had that effect on people: He was a large man, at least one head taller than Phillip (but honestly, everyone was kind of taller than Phillip), but he had also this presence around him that made you notice and look at him, like a magnet. It didn’t help that Barnum liked to dress himself rather eccentric: Today he was wearing a black cylinder, a red vest with golden embroidery and buttons and black slacks that did a very good job of accenting the man´s sturdy legs. He walked towards his office like Maleficent towards Aurora, his coat billowing behind him, his presence forcing people to make way for him.

Grabbing the coffee, thanking all gods in existence that it was still warm, Phillip followed his boss into his office and immediately began to rattle of agenda of the day.

“The viewing rate for last week is in, the New York Times slammed your newest movie as ‘humbug without soul’ and Anne wants to sue Breitbart for defamation of character.”

“What did they do?” Barnum asked, his lips curling in amusement.

“They called you a ‘liberal swindler and peddler of fake news’,” Phillip answered, looking up the article on the phone. “Here´s your coffee, by the way.”

“Well, they´re right, aren’t they?” Barnum replied as he took the first sip of his coffee. “I´m a liberal, I just yesterday told Caroline that the Easter Bunny is real, so I´m also a liar and if you´re a Republican it would seem as if our news subsidiary only publishes fake news.” He looked at his cup. “Who´s Molly and why should I call her.” Phillip turned bright red.

“I spilled your cup,” he admitted. “So, I gave you mine.” Barnum raised his eyebrows at him.

“So, you, too, are a fan of coffee with a shot of cacao and cinnamon foam?” he asked. Phillip didn’t reply, because it would be pathetic if he admitted that he always ordered his boss’ coffee for himself just in case this exact situation occurred.

“Lettie wanted to see you,” he told Barnum instead.

“Well, why didn’t you tell me that sooner?” Barnum exclaimed as he stood up and pushed past Phillip. Lettie´s office was just next to Barnum´s, so it wasn’t really that long of a way, but with Barnum the moment he came to the office everything happened at such a breath-taking pace that Phillip already felt like he had run a marathon.

Lettie was already waiting in her office when they entered. In many ways, the corpulent woman was a mirror image of Barnum: She, too, had this commanding aura around her, could turn heads by just walking by and when she raised her voice the whole of Manhattan shook. She also wore a beard, but when you got to know her, it was the most insignificant thing about her.

“Lettie, Lettie, Lettie,” Barnum greeted the woman and engulfed her in a fierce hug. “Is that a new beard cut I see? It brings out the fullness of your lips.” He winked at Lettie while the woman looked at Barnum with a mixture of exasperation and fondness.

“Hello Lettie,” Phillip greeted her, giving her a small nod which she returned.

“I just got off the phone with Jenny Lind,” she told Barnum. “She´s still unsure about touring the States.”

“But why?” Barnum exclaimed. “It´s such a great opportunity.”

“You don´t have to tell me,” Lettie remarked. “Tell her. Work that Barnum magic of yours that got you Oprah doing a new show on our network and convince her.”

“I´ll definitely do that,” Barnum replied. “In fact, I´ll do it right now. Come on, Phillip, we have a Swedish popstar to woo. I´m gonna turn her into the new ABBA, only as soloist.” Lettie snorted and Phillip couldn’t help but, too, roll his eyes at Barnum´s hubris (well, he did convince Oprah to come back, so maybe it wasn’t that misplaced?) and followed the man back to his office.

“Book us a flight to Stockholm this weekend,” Barnum ordered on their way. “We need to make Jenny feel appreciated and nothing does that more than coming to her in person.”

“But my mother´s birthday party´s this weekend,” Phillip protested weakly. “She´s inviting the whole family to the manor in the Hamptons.”

“Even better!” Barnum exclaimed. “You hate your family, so having an ocean between you and them is quite the good excuse. One of the best, if I may say so.” Phillip didn’t tell Barnum that he and his mother had actually taken steps to mend their broken ties and that he was actually looking forward to her party this time, because when Barnum was excited about something he wouldn’t listen anyway.

Barnum opened the door to his office, but both men stopped in their tracks when they noticed that two people were already standing behind Barnum´s desk: Charity Barnum and Anne Wheeler, both not looking very amused.

Phillip needed all of his mental strength to not shrink back under the powerful gazes of the two women. No one at the company knew exactly what the deal between Barnum and Charity was, only that the two of them build the company from the ground up and kept working together even after they broke up a few years ago. They had shared custody of their two daughters and because Phillip shadowed Barnum nearly ten hours a day he knew that the man and Charity had quite the amicable relationship. He never quite got why they had never married, though, because Charity had married her new partner Calum after all. Nice guy, if a little bit boring. So why she had never bothered to marry Barnum was still a puzzle to Phillip.

His gaze turned to Anne. The woman was a badass lawyer on whose bad side no one this side of the Mississippi wanted to be on, so everyone had thought Phillip nuts when he broke up their relationship. But honestly, they had wanted different things from life and Anne had thanked him later anyway, telling him that she would have broken up if he hadn’t done it. That hadn’t saved Phillip from her brother´s evil glare that had followed him for months afterwards, though.

“Charity, Anne, what brings you to my quaint little office?” Barnum asked.

“Well, Phineas,” Charity started and instantly Phillip knew that whatever she was to say was bad. Like, really, really bad. She never called Barnum his full first name, except when he had done something stupid, like the one time when he decided to run for Mayor of New York just to raise their profile and lost by only two percent. “Did you remember the talk we had last year about you not leaving the country while your visa application was still processed.” Barnum nodded. Also, something Phillip had never understood: In all the years he had been in the US, Barnum had never bothered to get himself a ‘real’ visa or even citizenship. Just work visas that had to be renewed every few years. When asked about that Barnum had just asked why he should go through the hassle of getting citizenship when the current set-up worked out quite fine for him?

“And what did you do?” Charity continued, a rhetorical question. “You flew to South Korea to sign on EXO for our record label.”

“SONY was about to snatch them up!” Barnum protested. “I couldn’t just let them have one of the most successful K-Pop bands.”

“K-Pop isn’t even in our profile,” Charity retorted.

“It is now,” Barnum shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter,” Anne intervened. “You violated the terms of your stay in the US and are being deported back to Germany. You can re-apply for visa in one year, but until then we aren’t even allowed to employ you.”

“But I can´t just stop working!” Barnum exclaimed. “I have so many projects to work on.”

“I´m so sorry, Phineas,” Charity spoke. “I wish there was anything I could do for you, but there just isn’t anything. I´d marry you, but…” She shrugged and wiggled her right hand where her wedding band sat. “That ship has sailed.” She looked sad, and Phillip pitied her. It wasn’t every day that your best friend and the partner with whom you had built up your whole legacy was forced out of your life by merciless immigration officers.

“Don´t worry,” Barnum soothed her, his gaze full of kindness and love. “Well, seeing as the situation is as it is, I can just announce it now.”

“Announce what?” Anne asked.

Before Phillip could even process the situation, Barnum had already grasped his hand and proclaimed: “Phillip and I are getting married.”

It was as if time suddenly stopped: Phillip could hear his heart pounding in his ears, could feel the warmth of Barnum´s hand in his. Every noise seemed to have been sucked away from around, even though he could see Anne and Charity´s lips moving. He could make out every single strand of hair on Anne´s head, could count all the freckle´s on Charity´s face as if his sensed had suddenly expanded beyond what was possible.

“Phillip?” Charity´s voice tore Phillip out of his stupor. Everyone was looking at him expectantly, like they were just waiting for him to say something.

“Yeah,” Phillip finally spoke, his voice sounding flat and weak to his own ears. “We´re getting married.” He didn’t believe that he sounded very convincing, but Anne rummaged through her bag and handed Charity a twenty Dollar bill. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, the older woman snagged the money out of Anne´s hand and stashed it in her pockets. Phillip just stared at Anne in betrayal.

“Just make it official,” she advised them.

“We will,” Barnum assured her. “Come on, Phillip, we´ve got things to do.” Laying his hands atop Phillip´s shoulders, Barnum steered the younger man back into his office. Phillip didn’t put up much resistance, still dazed by having a sudden marriage sprung on him, but when the glass door to Barnum´s office fell into its lock with a click, he finally came back to himself.

“What was that?!” he exclaimed.

“That was us announce our upcoming nuptials,” Barnum told him cheekily and right in this moment Phillip would have liked nothing more than wring Barnum´s neck until he was all blue in his face. “Honestly, Phillip, you were right next to me, after all.”

“I know what just happened,” Phillip snapped. Barnum could be so infuriating sometimes. “You don’t expect me to really marry you, do you?” He arched his eyebrows at Barnum, who was leaning against his desk as if nothing special had occurred.

“Of course, you have to marry me!” Barnum exclaimed. “Otherwise I get deported back to Germany. Do you know what´s in Germany? Especially in the Allgäu where I come from? Nothing but Lederhosen, barnyards and cows that stare at you accusingly, no matter what you´re doing. I can´t go back there!”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you blew up your chances at getting a visa,” Phillip shot back. “You don´t even know if I´m attracted to men.”

“Please,” Barnum scoffed. “Nobody straight got that many scarfs.”

“That´s stereotyping,” Phillip retorted.

“Besides, I saw you checking out Ryan Reynold´s behind when he was here last year,” Barnum remarked. Well, he had Phillip here.

“It´s a very fine ass,” Phillip replied weakly.

“I don´t disagree with you,” Barnum continued. “But now that we cleared that up, could we concentrate on the more important matters?”

“I´m still not doing this,” Phillip told Barnum. “I can go to prison for this.” He turned around to leave the office.

“Right here, right now I put the offer out,” Barnum called after him when Phillip´s hand was already hovering over the doorknob. “I don't want to chase you down, I know you see it. You run with me and you´ll get shares in Barnum Entertainment and a seat at the table with me and Charity. Now that's a deal that seems worth taking, but I guess I'll leave that up to you.”

Phillip didn’t move, torn between the two waring desires inside of him. This was everything he had ever wanted, ever since he started working here five years ago, but to get it he would need to commit a felony and lie to every person in his life. Was he really willing to risk it?

“We can have a quickie divorce after I get my citizenship,” Barnum added. Phillip took a deep sigh, the decision already made.

“Well it's intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly,” Phillip turned around to face Barnum. “So what percentage of the show would I be taking?”

“Fair enough, you'd want a piece of all the action,” Barnum replied. “I'd give you seven, we could shake and make it happen.” He stood up, walked around his desk and extended his hand towards Phillip.

“I wasn't born this morning,” Phillip laughed. “Eighteen would be just fine.”

“Why not just go ahead and ask for nickels on the dime,” Barnum scoffed.

“Fifteen.”

“I'd do eight.”

“Twelve.”

“Maybe nine.”

“Ten,” they both spoke in unison, staring at the other. Their faces were merely a few inches apart and Philip could feel the other man´s breath on his face. They shook hands and like glass the atmosphere around them shattered and left them behind exhausted and depleted.

“Take the rest of the day off,” Barnum told him. “We´ll see each other tomorrow at the Immigration Office.”

* * *

The name label on the table in front of him told Phillip that the man currently mustering them with a derisive glare over his golden framed glasses was named James Gordon Bennett. The New York Times was still laying on his table (opened on the theatre critics, Phillip noticed) while the man was switching between glaring at them and reading over their application.

“So, I have one question for you,” he began as he put down the paper. Phillip swallowed. “Are you both committing fraud to avoid his deportation so he can keep his position at Barnum Entertainment?”

“That's ridiculous,” Phillip huffed.

“Where did you hear that?” Barnum wanted to know.

“We had a phone tip this afternoon from a man named…”

“Would it be Benjamin Hallet?” Barnum asked. 

“…Benjamin Hallet,” Bennett finished.

“Benjamin. Poor Benjamin.” Barnum shook his head. “Benjamin is my former father in law and still holds a grudge against me for never marrying his daughter despite having to lovely daughters with her.”

“Quite the family you have there,” Bennett commented.

“Well, you can´t really chose family, can you?” Barnum retorted. “And I apologise. We know you´re incredibly busy with a room full of other applicants to tend to. If you just give us our next step, we´ll be out of your hair and on our way.” He gave the immigration officer his brightest show smile. Phillip just sat there, mouth shut and watched the back and forth between Barnum and Bennet like a ping pong match.

“Mister Barnum, please,” Bennett smiled, all teeth and not a single bit of sincerity behind it. “Let me explain to you the process that´s about to unfold.” He folded his hands and stared at them. “Step one, will be a scheduled interview. I´ll put you each in a room and I´ll ask you every little question that a real couple would know about each other.” Phillip had to keep himself from squirming when Bennett´s gaze drilled into him. “Step two, I dig deeper. I look at your phone records, I talk to your neighbours, I interview your co-workers. If your answers don’t match up at every point, you –“ he pointed at Barnum. “- will be deported indefinitely. And you, young man –“ he turned towards Phillip “- will have committed a felony punishable by a fine of 250k Dollars and a stay of five years in federal prison.” He leaned back, obviously enjoying himself.

“So, Phillip. You wanna…you want to talk to me?”

Phillip ran his tongue over his dry lips. This was his last chance to back out. To just confess and go back to his life as if nothing happened. But the he looked at Barnum who looked as controlled as always, but Phillip knew the man better than anyone besides Charity and so he could see the desperation behind his eyes, the tension in his shoulders, the pronounced lines on his face.

“The truth is…” Phillip started. Bennet leaned forward as if he couldn’t wait for what he assumed would be Phillip´s confession. “Mr Bennett, the truth is that Phineas and I are just two people who weren´t supposed to fall in love. But did. We couldn’t tell anyone we work with because of my big promotion I had coming up.”

“Promotion?” Bennett repeated.

“Yeah,” Phillip confirmed. “We both felt that it would be deeply inappropriate if I were to be promoted while we were…together.” He shrugged.

“Have the two of you told your parents about your secret love?” Bennet wanted to know.

“Oh, that´s impossible,” Barnum replied. “My parents are dead.” A twinge shot through Phillip´s heart. He knew that, of course, but it hurt every time he saw that shadow settle on Barnum´s features when he talked about his parents. “My mother died in childbirth and my father passed away when I was just a boy.”

“No siblings?” Bennett kept asking.

“None,” Barnum spoke. The immigration officer turned back to Phillip.

“Are your parents dead?” he wanted to know.

“No, his are very much alive,” Barnum answered before Phillip could. “Very much. We were gonna tell them this weekend, actually. His mother´s sixtieth birthday´s coming up and the whole family´s coming together. We thought it´d be a nice surprise.”

For the second time over the last twenty-four hours Phillip was left speechless after one of Barnum´s proclamations.

“Where is this surprise gonna take place?” Bennett asked, suspicion tinting his voice.

“At Phillip´s parents’ house,” Barnum replied. “In the Hamptons.”

“Where exactly?”

“Why am I doing all the talking?” Barnum elbowed Phillip. “It´s your parents’ house. Why don´t you tell him where it is. Jump in.”

“Greenport,” Phillip replied.

“In Greenport,” Barnum repeated. “That´s where my Phillip´s from.”

“Fine,” Bennett pressed out between clenched teeth. “I see how this is gonna go. I will see you both at eleven am Monday morning for your scheduled interview. And your answers better match up on every account.”

* * *

Once they were outside, Phillip began walking in small circles and taking deep breaths in order to prevent himself from hyperventilating. Oh my God, he wasn’t ready to do this, he hadn’t thought of the consequences, what about his parents, he was going to prison, how the hell should they manage to pull this through…

“Well, that went great, I think,” Barnum remarked from where he was standing on the sidewalk, basking the sunlight coming from above.

“Excuse me?” Phillip exclaimed. “But did we sit in the same room?”

“We did and Bennett fell for it hook, line and sinker,” Barnum replied.

“I´m facing a fine of 250,000 and five years in prison,” Phillip whispered furiously.

“Only if we get caught,” Barnum pointed out.

“We'll tell my family about our engagement when I want and how I want,” Phillip told Barnum, rubbing his temples to ward off the headache that was sure to come. “Now ask me nicely.”

“’Ask you nicely’ what?” Barnum wanted to know, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“Ask me nicely to marry you, Phineas,” Phillip replied in his most sickening sweet voice.   

“What would your ideal proposal be like?” Phineas asked.

“On your knee,” Phillip commanded.  

“Fine,” Phineas grumbled as he did, indeed, go down on his knees. “Does this work for you?”

“Oh, I like this. Yeah,” Phillip replied cheekily. Phineas just rolled his eyes. “Say it like you mean it, though.”

“Phillip?”

“Yes, Phineas?”

“Sweet Phillip?”

“You´re laying on thick, but I'm listening.” 

“Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?” Phineas asked, taking Phillip´s hand into his. By now a little crowd had gathered around them and watched them with rapture.

“OK. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it,” Phillip finally agreed. The crowd around them began to clap, some people even cheered.

“Kiss!” Someone shouted. Others took up the call and soon the whole crowd was chanting for them to kiss.

“What do you say, Phillip, wanna give them a show?” Phineas whispered into his ear, his voice dark and sensual. And then all of a sudden, his lips were on Phillip´s. Phineas tasted a little bit like the coffee he drank every morning, chocolate and cinnamon, but there was also something distinctively ‘Phineas’ that Phillip couldn’t quite put into words. His traitorous body pressed himself against Phineas, reciprocating the kiss with a little more fervour than strictly necessary.

When they let go of each other, both of them were breathing heavily and Phillip could see a little blush appearing on Phineas’ face. He probably didn’t look better. Around them the people cheered one last time and began to disperse.   

“See you at the train station tomorrow.” Phineas patted him on the shoulder and then he had already vanished amidst the crowd, leaving behind an equally confused and aroused Phillip.

* * *

Phillip was on his second glass of wine when someone knocked at the door of his apartment.

As he made his way through the hallway he thought about the phone call he had had with his mother, announcing that plans had changed and he was bringing someone along. She had sounded reversed, even more so when Phillip had told her who exactly he was bringing along, but she hadn’t hung up or screamed at him, so it didn’t go as bad as Phillip had feared.

_“I´m trying to change,” she spoke on the phone. “So, I will reserve judgment until I´ve met the man. And…and I will prepare your father.”_

At least one person at the party was…well, not really in his corner, but near it. Finally reaching the front door, Phillip opened it and received quite the surprise when he saw Anne standing in the hallway, holding a bottle of wine in her hand.

“Hey,” she greeted him. “I thought I´d look what you´re up to.”

“Oh, well,” Phillip replied, momentarily at loss for words. “Come in.” He stepped aside and Anne entered his apartment, shrugging off her coat and making a straight line for the living room.

“You already opened a bottle?” she called from over there while Phillip hung up her coat.

“Treat yourself!” he called back.

“I certainly will.” When Phillip came back into his living room, Anne was already lounging on his coach with a half-filled wine glass in her hand. Phillip took his from the table and sat down on the chair opposite of her.

“Not that I´m not happy to see you,” he began, “but what are you doing here?”

“Come on,” Anne scoffed. “I´m not stupid enough to believe that you are really marrying Barnum. Your fake marrying him so that he won´t get deported.”

“Then what were the twenty Dollars you gave Charity for?” Phillip wanted to know.

“Don´t try to change the topic,” Anne replied. “Why did you do it?” Phillip took a sip from his glass.

“You didn’t see him when he asked me or when we were at the Immigration Office,” he finally replied. “He was…desperate. He tried to hide it, but I could still see it. I was his last chance and…and I don´t want to get him deported. He made me part of something big, of a legacy and I don’t want that to be for nothing.”

“So, it´s got nothing to do with that crush of yours?” Anne wanted to know. Phillip blushed and looked down on his glass. He didn’t know how Anne knew – well, she was Anne, of course she would know – because he had kept that little secret of his close to his heart. It was just fleeting; nothing would ever come out of it, because while Phineas was the most accepting person Phillip knew, he was still straight as an arrow. Sure, they joked about Ryan Reynold´s ass, and the man could charm men as well as women, but the only relationships Phillip knew the man had had, had been with women.

“Maybe a little bit,” Phillip finally confessed.

“Oh, Phillip.”

“I know it´s stupid, I know it,” Phillip ranted. “He´s exasperating, annoying and too cheerful. He takes fancy to too many things at once and he lets them fall again too fast and half of his ideas give me a heart attack, but he was the first person who took a chance on me. He was the first one who saw me and not the Carlyle name.”  

He still remembered how he had arrived in New York (just a two hours train ride, but it had felt like a life time nevertheless) living in a terrible one-room-apartment while trying to get a job without his family´s connections with no one lending a shoulder to cry on to. He still remembered this feeling of hopelessness, how he had been ready to give up and crawl back to his parents when he had the last job interview with Phineas who had just taken one look at him and had employed him on the spot. When Phillip had asked why, the man had just answered: _“Because you look like someone who´s got something to prove. In my experience that kind of people always work the hardest.”_

“It´s not stupid,” Anne retorted. “It´s human and no one can fault you for that. I just don´t want you to get hurt. We are friends after all, aren’t we?”

“Maybe it´s too late for that already,” Phillip replied. “He´s coming with me to my mother´s birthday party.” Anne pursed her lips. She wasn’t really a fan of Phillip´s parents. He couldn’t really fault her for that. “It´s gonna be a catastrophe.”

And then, because there was nothing left that Phillip could do, he just laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed: at the ridiculousness of the situation, at his stupid crush, at his desperation and the small ember of hope that he still clung to. He laughed until he could feel Anne´s arms around him, engulfing him into a fierce hug.

“Everything´s gonna be alright,” she promised. “The whole office´s behind you.”

“They all know?”

“Nah,” Anne assuaged him. “They just think that you´re really together and you were just waiting for the right moment to announce it.”

“Why do they all think that we´re together?” Phillip asked confused.

“Because you´re like a bickering, old, married couple,” Anne pointed out. She let go of him: “Better now?” Phillip nodded. “Good, because I have a very important question.” Phillip swallowed, readying himself for whatever was about to come.

“Can I be your best man?”

He laughed. “Of course, you can. Who else but you?”


	2. Come Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Phillip´s opinion even a public flogging would have been preferable to meeting his extended family. At least he had Phineas at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imported one character from another fandom so I didn´t have to make her up completely. You´ll probably notice her right away ;)

Even if Phillip had wanted he really couldn’t have missed Phineas. Already from afar he could make out he garish yellow coat the man wore as he strutted down the escalator, people parting for him like the Red Sea had for Moses. Phillip just stood there, tapping impatiently with his right food as the owner of Barnum Entertainment made his way towards his fake-fiancé.

“I thought you´d be late,” Phillip spoke in lieu of a greeting. Phineas had only a small suitcase with him (black with the golden emblem of Barnum Entertainment, of course).

“There´s still enough time for us to catch our train,” Phineas replied without care. “And enough time to get a snack!” He grabbed Phillip by the arm and pushed him into the nearest bakery where he had to endure the older man´s indecisiveness for nearly five minutes before he finally chose a pastry that looked ‘adventurous in its taste’, whatever that was supposed to mean.

“Our train departs from track fourteen,” Phillip told Phineas, having memorised the tickets he had saved on his smartphone. “And we need to transfer in Ronkonkoma.”

“Why are we even taking the train?” Phineas wanted to know as they took another escalator down to the platforms. “I hate Penn Station. It´s crowded, it stinks and I hate dragging my luggage around.”

“Because we´re halfway there already in the time it would´ve taken us to get out of Manhattan by car,” Phillip pointed out. “And taking the train is more relaxing.”

“Says you,” Phineas grumbled but he followed Phillip obediently as they made their way towards their track where their train was already waiting for them. They entered the waggon and go to their seats. With a huff Phillip let himself fall into the cushions and let out a deep breath. Next to him Phineas was opening and closing the little table that was affixed to the seat in front of him.

“Stop doing that,” Phillip snapped at the man. “You´re worse than a child.”

“I resent that statement,” Phineas pouted, but he stopped it anyway, which earned Phillip a grateful look from the woman occupying the seat in front of Phineas. For a while, Phillip just stared out of the window, watching the people passing by on the platform, imagining their life stories from their behaviour and their clothes, when the door shut close with a loud bang and the train began to move. He watched as the lights of the station vanished and were replaced by darkness as the train made its way underneath the East River.

Sighing, Phillip tore his gaze away from the window and bent down to rummage through his bag. When he found what he was looking for, he turned towards Phineas who was already munching on his food.

“I found a questionnaire from Immigration Office on the internet,” he explained to Barnum. “We have one weekend to learn everything about each other, which won´t be difficult for me seeing as I already do know everything about you.”

“You do?” Phineas challenged him with a crooked eyebrow.

“I´ve been with you for five years already,” Phillip pointed out. “I know you better than anyone, expect maybe for Charity.”

“I know a quite things about you, too, Phillip,” Phineas replied.

“You do?” Phillip asked, doubt creeping in his voice. “Let´s just go through a few questions then. Allergies: You don’t have allergies, you literarily eat anything you can get your hands on.”

“Nuts,” Phineas answered. “Nothing quite dramatic as in the movies. You´ll just get sick.” Phillip raised his eyebrows at the other man; he hadn’t known that Phineas knew about his nut allergy.

“Alright,” he cleared his throat. “Upbringing: You came to America after you turned eighteen, met Charity while you tried to sell her an out-of-date newspaper and then proceeded to talk various investment bankers to lend you their money so that you two could found Barnum Entertainment.”

“Well, that´s only the short version,” Phineas pointed out. By now the train had left the tunnel and they were moving through Queens. “The real story is much more heart gripping and entertaining.”

“You should make a musical out of it then,” Phillip commented offhandedly but by the way Phineas’ eyes lit up it had probably been the wrong thing to say. “What about me?”

“You grew up at your parents’ mansion somewhere around Greenport…I think it was Dering Harbor, you mentioned that once,” Phineas replied. “You have an older brother Matthew who´s an investment banker and a younger brother James who´s set to take over your family´s business because Matthew´s already successful and you´re in disgrace. Both your parents are pretty dim-witted because they fail to recognise that you, too, have achieved something they should be proud of.”

“They think I´m just a glorified secretary,” Phillip scoffed, trying to hide the bitterness that seeped into his voice.

“A secretary that handles all of our investment portfolio; a secretary that practically runs the day-to-day work of one of America´s biggest entertainment conglomerates and has much say in every decision that´s made within the firm,” Phineas retorted forcefully. “You´re as far from an ordinary secretary as you can get!”

Phillip was made speechless by Phineas’ sudden outburst. It was already surprising to him that his boss knew so much about him, but hearing him come to his defence like this made something hot churn in his stomach. He couldn’t think about this right now. He had a weekend with his family to survive. Maybe then. Or maybe never.

“I suppose we can come back to these questions later,” Phillip finally spoke, trying to stop the heat that was travelling up his body. “I should warn you about my family, though.” He swallowed.

“What´s there to warn about?” Phineas wanted to know. “I know that you´re parents don’t support what you do.”

“Knowing and actually experiencing it are two different pair of shoes,” Phillip pointed out. “They´re horribly bigoted. Not in the homophobic or racist way, but rather in a class way. When I came home with my first boyfriend they disapproved of him because he couldn’t trace his lineage back to the Mayflower. If your ancestors didn’t come to the States while they were still British territory, then you don´t have the pedigree to mingle with the Carlyle’s. On the other hand, they love Matthew´s black wife because she comes from a long line of lawyers and got a law degree from Harvard.”

“They´re gonna hate me, aren’t they?” Phineas asked. Phillip just laughed.

“You had nothing when you came to the US and even worse you made your fortune in entertainment,” Phillip explained. “That´s only a step away from making your money with drugs or porn, at least in their eyes.”

“Well…”

“I know you never did porn,” Phillip shut him up. “I actually googled you before I applied for the job.”

“There were times I was tempted, though,” Phineas told him, grinning brightly. And perfect, now Phillip couldn’t stop thinking about what kind of porn Phineas would have filmed. Thank god there was enough room in his pants.

“There´ll also be a various assortment of aunts, uncles and cousins, of which I don’t even know everyone,” Phillip continued. “They will judge us both, like, really hard. If we´re lucky they´ll do it when we´re not within earshot.”

“Quite the family you have there,” Phineas said. Phillip didn’t point out that besides his mother they hadn’t really been his family for a long time. The relationship with his brothers weren’t necessarily bad, they simply weren’t any: They lived separate lives and only saw each other whenever Phillip was even allowed to come to one of the family gatherings.

To be honest, the people at Barnum Entertainment – W.D., Anne, Lettie, the others; hell, even Phineas – were more of a family to him than his actual family.

“You should catch some quiet while you still can,” Phillip finally spoke quietly. “Because you won´t get any once we´re at the manor.” Phineas just stared at him, but thankfully he didn’t say anything. Suddenly no longer able to bear the other man´s gaze, Phillip turned around and continued to stare out of the window for the rest of the ride.

* * *

Greenport Station didn’t really deserve its name. Three rails, one platform which offered next to no shelter and a service station that had been repurposed as a small maritime museum. When they exited the train Phillip nearly fell down the steps of the train as the platform rose barely above ground level.

“Doesn’t seem very befitting for the Carlyle family,” Phineas commented as he stretched his arms.

“Well, the Carlyle family lives on the other side of the Peconic River, and they would never take the train anyway, so they don’t care,” Phillip replied.

“Mr Carlyle.” Phillip nearly jumped out of his shoes when someone suddenly spoke his name right next to him.

“Alan!” he exclaimed when he recognised the Carlyle family´s butler. “You´re here.”

“Of course, I am,” the butler replied drily. “Ms Carlyle sent me to pick up you and your companion.” His gaze fell on Phineas who was stretching his fingers while he pulled faces.

“Phineas, this is Alan,” Phillip introduced the butler to his fake-fiancé. “He´s my family´s butler.” Alan offered his hand and Phineas shock it.

“That´s still a thing?” he wanted to know. “Having a butler?”

“My craft is in high demands all over the world,” Alan replied. “Let me get your luggage and then we shall take the boat over to Dering.”

“Nonsense,” Phineas replied. “We´re not invalid. We can carry our bags by ourselves.”

“As you wish,” Alan just shrugged. “Please follow me.” The harbour of Greenport was just on the other side of the street, opposite the train station. One of the Carlyle´s smaller boats was moored to the jetty. Phillip let Phineas walk over the plank before he followed. And then the engines came to live and Greenport began to grow smaller and smaller as they drove over the water.

Now that they were only a few minutes away from Dering and therefore his parents, Phillip could no longer supress the jitters he was feeling. Besides the few phone calls (mainly with his mother) he hadn’t had contact with any members of his family for years. He and his father hadn’t parted on the best terms (understatement of the century) and Phillip just didn’t know what he could expect. Scorn? Anger? Open arms? The uncertainty gnawed at him and made his stomach turn. Because deep down he was still the small boy who wanted nothing but the approval of his parents, even though he knew that it would never come.

And how would they react to Phineas? Phillip didn’t feel really feel bad for lying to them (they were too estranged for that), but his family had the uncanny ability to find and exploit other people´s weaknesses. They would circle Phineas like sharks that had smelled blood and not let go until they had found something. They would let him feel that he was unwelcome, that he didn’t belong, that he was beneath them.

Until now Phillip´s family had managed to destroy every relationship he had had. They were like chemical compounds that would explode whenever they came into contact with each other. There was no peace to be found on the family ground.

But as Phineas gazed at Phineas´ profile as the man stared across the water, unmoving and completely taken in by the scenery, Phillip swore to himself that he wouldn’t allow his family to destroy whatever he had with the other man, even if it was only a lie. Especially then.

The sun sparkled on the blue waves, like a sea of diamonds that they were travelling through. Wind wafted through their hair, playing with single strands, whispering into their ears. The smell of salt hung in the air and all around them the vast expanses of blue promised freedom for whoever sought it. Phillip wondered if that was what the first settlers that had come here had felt as they made their way down the Long Island Sound.

“Hey.” Phillip turned his head towards Phineas. “We´ll make it through this. You´ll see, in a few years we´re gonna look back on this and laugh our asses off.” Phillip didn’t know why, but somehow those words, spoken so confidently and calmly by Phineas, as if the man knew deep down that they would come true, managed to sooth the raging storm within Phillip´s mind.

Just in time, for Alan slowed the boat down and as they slowly approached the private landing stage of Carlyle Manor the imposing house itself slowly appeared in front of them in all of its cold splendour. There was no one awaiting them and for once Phillip was thankful for that. A grace period before he was pushed into the middle of everything.

“Welcome to Carlyle Manor,” he whispered to Phineas. “I hope you´ll survive your stay here.” Phineas just rolled his eyes at him.

“Don´t be dramatic.”

“Says you, who made a fortune out of being dramatic,” Phillip snorted.

"It´s what I do best," Phineas winked and something warm fluttered in Phillip´s stomach.

"Your parents are awaiting you in the parlour," Alan told him. "Please follow me."

Phillip rolled his eyes. He had grown up here, he actually knew where the parlour was, but he knew that Alan took his duties as the Carlyle´s butler very seriously, so he let it be and followed the man along a small gravel path that led up to the manor.

"So, you grew up here?" Phineas asked.

Phillip looked around and wondered how everything around here would look to Phineas. The well-kept grass where they hadn´t been allowed to play because it would make their clothes dirty and ruin the lawn. The mighty oaks that he and his brothers had climbed when they pretended to be explorers of yet undiscovered lands. The small beach with its pristine white sand, imported from the Caribbean, because his mother liked it that way. And above all the manor that loomed over the grounds.

"I did," Phillip replied. Phineas didn’t say anything.

They had reached the white marble staircase that led up to the veranda doors. Alan opened them and suddenly they were engulfed by excited chatter from all around. It seemed that Phillip´s extended family had already arrived in full force.

"Phillip!" A younger carbon-copy of Phillip made his way towards him. If it wasn´t for Phillip´s slightly darker hair and broader shoulders you could think that they were long lost twins.

"James," Phillip greeted his younger brother, somehow awkwardly. He didn’t really know how he should react. The last time he had seen his brother was nearly five years ago, the dinner before his parents had thrown him out. "Nice to see you."

"Finally came back, eh?" James grinned. "Let me introduce you to my fiancé Rebecca." A young woman stepped forward, petite, blonde hair, unremarkable face.

"Rebecca Ferguson?" Phillip asked and the woman just nodded. The Fergusons were old blood – nearly as old as the Carlyle family – and Phillip didn´t doubt for a second that his parents had a hand in the forming of this betrothal. "A pleasure to meet you. Let me introduce you to Phineas Barnum." The aforementioned man stepped forward and gifted the two of them with his most charming smile.

"A pleasure," he purred and placed a kiss on Rebecca´s hand who just blushed. James received a firm handshake.

"You brought your boss?" James asked with raised eyebrows.

"I brought my fiancé," Phillip retorted, trying to sound unfazed.

"Your fiancé?!" James exclaimed. "When did that happen?"

 _Yesterday,_ Phillip wanted to reply, but instead he just said: "A while ago."

"And now you´re here to stick it to Mom and Dad?" James wanted to know.

"I´m here because I wanted to tell my parents that one of their sons is going to marry," Phillip replied curtly. "Now, if you´d excuse us, I have to find our parents." By now the people around them had stopped every pretence at not trying to eavesdrop and were unashamed listening in to their conversation. Phillip plucked at Phineas' sleeve and led the man through the crowd to the adjacent parlour where Alan had said his parents were waiting for him.

"That didn’t go as horrible as I´d expected," Phineas hummed. "There was a lot less shouting involved."

"If you´re waiting for shouting, you´ll sure as hell get it over the weekend," Phillip muttered under his breath. "My family´s not one for subtlety."

"Your brother didn’t seem to be that shocked," Phineas remarked.

"I don´t know what to expect from him," Phillip admitted. "Or from Matthew. It´s been so long since I last saw them."

"Well, you have me by your side, as much consolation as that might be," Phineas replied. Phillip didn´t say anything, but that sentence was probably more reassuring than anything else had been until now.

They entered the parlour and Phillip´s gaze instantly zoomed in on his parents standing only a few meters away, talking with someone Phillip didn’t know. Suddenly breathing became a lot harder, as if an invisible hand had grabbed his lungs and was slowly closing down. He felt like he was five again, having been caught doing something forbidden by the staff and now he had to face the wrath of his parents.

His mother was the first to notice him. For a moment she looked shocked, as if she hadn´t expected him to come, but then she schooled her features again and prodded her husband´s side. Now his father, too, turned around; his gaze was undiscernible as he scrutinised Phillip and Phineas.

"Excuse us, Frank," his father spoke to the other man. "But it seems that my wayward son has returned."

"I leave you to it then," Frank laughed and with his champagne in his hand he walked away to the next group.

"Phillip," his father spoke curtly.

"Father," Phillip replied.

"Oh Phillip, I´m so glad you could make it," his mother exclaimed and then – much to everyone´s surprise – she engulfed him in a fierce hug. Not knowing how to react, Phillip just stood there awkwardly and waited for his mother to release him.

"And you must be Mr Barnum." His mother turned towards Phineas and offered her hand, on which he – in true gentleman fashion – placed a kiss.

"A pleasure to meet the parents of such a distinguished man as Phillip," Phineas replied. “I didn’t know where I´d be without him.”

“Bankrupt in a ditch somewhere in Williamsburg,” Phillip threw in without missing a beat much to the shock of his mother.

“Probably true,” Phineas conceded with a shrug.

“So, Mr Barnum,” Phillip´s mother started, “why are you here? Phillip did only tell us that you were coming last minute and he failed to mention the nature of your relationship.”

Honestly, his parents were true masters of denial, Phillip thought. Who would bring someone to a family get-together if they weren´t romantically involved? No one, literarily, ever.

“He´s here to get to know the family,” Phillip swallowed and then rushed out: “Because we´re engaged.”

Silence.

Absolute silence.

All around them people stopped talking (even in the adjacent foyer) as if they had just waited for the bomb to drop. As if they had all just come for the Carlyle family drama.

“Engaged?” his mother repeated, her face pale. “That´s surprising.”

“No, it really isn´t,” his father replied, his lips pursed. “Our son always liked to disappoint, after all.” It hit Phillip like a hammer to the face. He didn’t know what else he had expected (acceptance, apologies, forgiveness), but seeing his father´s disapproval just drove home that no matter what he did, it would never be enough in the older man´s eyes. He should have seen it coming; he didn’t even know why he had even bothered to come here.

“I´m so glad to hear that,” Phillip finally managed to choke out. “At least now I don´t have to spend the whole weekend under the illusion that anything around here has changed at all.” And before his parents had the chance to get another word in, he spun around and walked out of the room and out of the house. He didn’t run, didn’t cower his head in shame – no, he walked out steadily, his shoulders squared and his head held high, because he didn’t want anyone to see how deep his father´s words had hurt him even after all these years.

He was walking out but he was not running.

Phillip reached a section of the beach that wasn’t visible from the house, a small stripe of sand surrounded by meadows whose branches whipped back and forth in the wind while small waves lapped at the sand and took in a deep breath.

His parents hadn’t changed. At least his father hadn’t. He had come here under the impression that they were ready to start over from a blank slate, but he should have expected that it wouldn’t even last past their first meeting after five years.

“Phillip?”

“Not now, Phineas.” He could hear the other man coming up next to him, his gaze turned in the same direction as Phillip´s, just staring over the water.

“I didn’t know your family was that…complicated,” Phineas remarked and Phillip just had to snort.

“I should have expected it, you know? But I really did hope that this time it´d be different; that the years of separation would have cooled tempers all around,” he confided.

“It´s always a disappointment to have your hopes crushed,” Phineas commented and not for the first time Phillip wondered how many of the other man´s dreams had been destroyed – _abandoned, let go, faded_ – before he had managed to make this one come true. “But I know you, Phillip, and I know that you´re stronger than this. Don´t let your father´s cruel words get to you. Besides, I don´t think that your mother shares his sentiment, at least not completely.” He flashed a smile at Phillip. “Also, not everyone in your family can be an asshole. You have yet to introduce me to the nice ones.”

“Well then, let´s head back and introduce you to the few people I can actually stand,” Phillip joked. Phineas´ little pep-talk had managed to tear him out of his melancholy and made him feel a little bit lighter. With the other man at his side Phillip didn’t feel like he was drowning in the waters of the past and even if it would never evolve into something more than friendship, right now Phillip could treasure and use it.

When they came back to the party, everyone was trying to pretend as if nothing had happened and miserably failing at it. Phillip and Phineas ignored them as they made their way to the buffet, having noticed that both of them were pretty hungry as their last meal had been before they had boarded the train.

Phillip was about to choose between the smoked salmon and a chocolate donut (don´t judge him, okay?) when a curtain of red hair obstructed his view.

“So, how was the proposal?” Phillip looked up to the owner of the strawberry blonde hair and looked at a face with bright green eyes and a bright red mouth, curled into an amused smirk. A few freckles littered otherwise completely unblemished skin. “Who popped the question?”

“Hello Lydia,” Phillip greeted the woman, not bothering to suppress the smile that sneaked on his face. “Nice to see you, too.” The now-named Lydia walked around the table and engulfed Phillip in a fierce hug.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she asked after she had let go of him.

“I didn’t know I was coming until a short while ago,” Phillip replied.

“And you didn’t even call me when you were getting engaged!” Lydia exclaimed. Fortunately for him, Phillip was saved from telling Lydia that he hadn’t been engaged until yesterday by the arrival of his fake-fiancé.

“Phillip, you have to introduce me to the first person here who´s not throwing shade at you,” he spoke, smiling at Lydia.

“How often do I have to tell you that you shouldn’t use youth slang in your age,” Phillip muttered darkly, but then he did as he was told.

“Phineas, this is Lydia Martin, a lifelong friend. Lydia, this is Phineas Barnum, my fiancé.”

“Enchanté,” Phineas greeted her.

“It´s such a pleasure to meet you, Mr Barnum,” Lydia replied. “I already feared Phillip would not live up to his role as black sheep of the family and marry some rich but bland girl in order to appease his family. I´m glad you´re neither of those things.”

“Lydia!” Phillip hissed in mortification. Phineas just threw his head back and bellowed out a laughter.

“Finally someone around here I can stand,” he remarked. “How do you know such an enchanting woman, Phillip?”

“Our parents wanted us to get married when we were eighteen, so the moment we could walk they started to put us together to foster romantic feelings,” Phillip replied.

“It didn’t work out, obviously,” Lydia added. “I´d rather marry a dead fish. Unlike Phillip, it would give me sexual satisfaction at least.” She twinkled at Phillip. “Sorry, Phil, no offense meant.”

“I know, Lyds,” Phillip replied. “I, too, would rather marry a dead dog´s cadaver than you. More appealing to look at than you.”

“I hope that I´m a step up from a dead dog,” Phineas threw in.

“Oh, honey,” Lydia cooed. “You don´t have to worry about that. You have everything to make little Phillip stand tall and proud.”

“You wanted to know about our proposal,” Phillip hastily threw in, head bright red while Phineas and Lydia broke into laughter. “It was quite romantic.”

“Do tell,” Lydia ordered with a scary intensity in her gaze.

“We were working late,” Phineas started and Phillip could already tell that he was about to weave an epic tale. All Phillip had to do was to lean back and enjoy. “Everyone had already left the office, expect Phillip who was still sitting at his desk. Do you know those moments when you look at someone and it is as if you were seeing them for the first time?” Lydia nodded, completely raptured by Phineas’ story.

“It was like that. I was standing in the doorway, looking at Phillip and it was like I was truly seeing him for the first time. The way his shirt was crinkled after a long day at work, his sleeves pulled up and his tie loose around his neck, staring at some paper as if he wanted to set it aflame just with the intensity of his gaze.

I looked at him and it hit me that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. That there was and would be no one else but him and the intensity and clarity was so fierce that I nearly doubled over. I wanted him to be mine, so without thinking I walked up to him and straight out asked: ‘Do you want to marry me?’

And at first Phillip was, like, really confused, but then he broke out in the most genuine smile I have ever seen and just said ‘Yes’ and it was only then that I noticed that I had no ring.” Phineas laughed. “So, instead I gave him that ugly golden paperweight that I´ve gotten from the CEO of Disney as promo gift.”

“That´s so beautiful,” Lydia sniffed, wiping away a single tear that was running down her cheek. Phillip had to pull himself together to not follow her suit. The way Phineas had described the whole thing and made him feel like he had truly been there; like it had really happened. He could remember many such late nights where it had been just him and Phineas and the idea that Phineas had noticed him like that with those feelings made his heart twinge. It hurt knowing that it wasn’t real, that it was just a scam and that it would never happen.

But Phillip would hold onto it, a precious ember of what could have been, a dream put into words, even if it would bring him nothing but pain. Because weren’t the most beautiful things those that you knew you could never have?

“We still have no rings,” Phineas added. “But the paperweight will definitely make an appearance at our wedding.”

“As will I,” Lydia asserted. “Because I´m definitely invited, aren´t I?”

“Of course, of course,” Phineas assured her.

“I´m so happy for you,” Lydia turned to Phillip and hugged him again. “I really was afraid that you would die as lone hermit in Manhattan. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.”

“There´s nothing to be afraid of,” Phillip reassured her.

“And don´t think that everyone here´s against you,” Lydia told him. “I overheard your aunt Gertrude and some of her noisy friends speaking about what an absolute delight you´ve become and with an even more delightful companion. You should definitely keep him within arm´s reach or one of them will snatch him up and never let go.” She winked at Phineas who had turned very pale at the mention of grabby old ladies. Phillip couldn’t help but feel for him: Aunt Gertrude was truly a force to be reckoned with.

“I´ll protect you,” he whispered to Phineas.

“I´ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” Lydia chirped. “I just saw Heather Rowling sneaking around and I still have to tear her a new one for trying to steal my boyfriend.” She waved at them and then she was already gone.

“A truly refreshing personality,” Phineas murmured as they watched her go. “She isn’t by chance looking for a job?”

“Nope,” Phillip replied. “She´s already a successful fashion designer. And she values her independence.”

“Pity,” Phineas remarked. “She and Chastity would have gone along well.” Phillip shuddered. That was something that shouldn’t even be contemplated.

“So, that was one horrible and one pleasant encounter,” Phineas said. “What´s the next gonna belike?”

“I don’t know,” Phillip replied as he saw the next person making their way towards them; the last member of his immediate family: His older brother Matthew.


	3. Tightrope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don´t get better but they also don´t get worse. Phillip would count that as a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter ^o^ I plan to have things wrapped up with the next chapter, maybe even with some smut ^_~ 
> 
> Here´s how I roughly imagine my OCs to look like, by the way: 
> 
> Matthew - [Ryan Reynolds](https://www.google.de/search?q=ryan+reynolds&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi6k6fU7NzZAhVFwBQKHRowAYYQ_AUICigB&biw=1710&bih=976#imgrc=IMf2vxcBfPG8iM:)  
> Lydia - [Holland Roden](https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=834803)  
> Rachel - [Meghan Markle](http://www.speakerscorner.me/meghan-markle/nup_155345_0945-jpg/)  
> Aunt Gertrude - [Hellen Mirren](https://www.allure.com/story/helen-mirren-cover-story-september-2017)

While James and Phillip had taken mostly after their father, Matthew shared more similarities with their mother: His hair was of a bright blonde, his eyes the blue of a clear summer sky and his facial structure made him look like a male version of their mother. He wore a midnight blue three-piece suit that accented his lithe and yet still strong build and when he smiled it seemed to brighten up the whole room.

No wonder that he was a good investment banker: Matthew looked like someone you would entrust your soul with, so why not your money?

Walking at his side was his wife Rachel: A seemingly flawless being who turned heads wherever she went, dressed in a golden sequin dress that clung tightly to her curves while still looking classy. With every movement the light that reflected from her pitch-black hair seemed to move back and forth like waves on the shoreline.

Together with Matthew the two of them made for the perfect couple.

Suddenly Phillip´s throat was so dry that he wondered if he was even able to talk right now while his palms were disgustingly soaked with sweat.

Like with the rest of his family, Phillip hadn’t exchanged a word with his older brother ever since he had left home five years ago. But unlike James, with whom Phillip never had the best of relationships, cutting ties with Matthew had hurt him more than he liked to admit.

Before James had been born it had been just Matthew and him, two brothers that were sure that they could conquer the world if they just escaped the staff long enough. With the addition of a third Carlyle that bond hadn’t weakened and yet on that fateful night when their father had thrown him out, Matthew had just sat there at the table, silent, while their mother had cried and their father screamed. And when Phillip had packed his bags, Matthew hadn’t come and tried to talk him down. When Phillip had waited for the ferry to take him across the river, he had so desperately hoped that his brother would come running along the landing stage and plead with him to stay or to offer him support, but no one had come.

“Matthew,” Phillip greeted his brother awkwardly. “Rachel.”

Phillip let his gaze flicker over the room. Even though they were still standing next to the buffet, no one was standing near them, as if a barrier had somehow sprung around them, separating the four of them from the rest of the party. As if they wanted to give them privacy, which Phillip, knowing his family, very much doubted.

Somewhere in the background he could hear a woman screech. It sounded like Heather; apparently Lydia had found her and was not afraid to throw a scene. Never had Phillip been more grateful for the sheer confidence of his best friend that allowed her to start something at a Carlyle family function.

“Phillip.” Rachel offered her hand which Phillip gracefully took and placed a kiss atop it. “Who is this man that has everyone around here in knots?”

“Let me introduce you to Phineas Barnum, founder and owner of Barnum Entertainment.” Rachel smiled at Phineas which he returned in kind.

“And you must be the famous Rachel Carlyle, lawyer extraordinaire,” Phineas said smoothly. “Your work on the Innocent Project is an inspiration to us all.”

“I didn’t realise you knew about it,” Rachel replied surprised. Phillip was, too. As far as he was aware Phineas had never even heard her name until yesterday.

“We aired a documentary about it a while ago,” Phineas explained. “I watched it and you were featured quite prominently, rightly so, if I might add.”

“You´re definitely as charming as all your portraits in the magazines depict you as,” Rachel complimented. “You can continue charming me and telling me all about how you got to know Phillip over there at the chocolate fountain while we leave those two to talk.”

And then she had already linked arms with Phineas and was leading him away from them, every step filled with purpose while Phineas barely had the time to throw a confused a look Phillip before he was swept away by the force that was Rachel Carlyle.

“She definitely hasn’t lost her edge, has she?” Phillip joked weakly.

“No, she hasn’t,” Matthew replied quietly as he stared after his wife in that love stricken way that only people who had been together for years could; this mixture of fondness, love and certainty that you found _the one_ for you.

“So, you decided to come?” It was said factually, without reproach or bitterness.

“Mother asked me to come,” Phillip clarified. “And I thought that I could try again.”

“Would you ever have considered coming back if she hadn’t asked?” Matthew wanted to know.

“Do you really want an honest answer?” Phillip asked, truly curious. Because if he was totally, brutally honest then he would negate the question. Maybe in the beginning, when he had been all on his own, trying to survive New York without help he would have considered contacting his family, but the need had faded the longer he had stayed away. Depending only on himself, forced to be self-sufficient to a degree he had never been before, had taught Phillip that he didn’t need his family in his life. It had shown him that he could make it on his own, that he had the will and the abilities to live his life without his father´s money, his mother´s influence or his brother´s protection.

It was hard, full of privation and sometimes he had just wanted to break down in his dingy little apartment and cry, but he had pulled through and when he had started his job at Phineas’ assistant he was filled with the knowledge that he would be fine without his family.

And then he had found a new family in the workers at Barnum Entertainment and his old one had moved even further into the back of his mind.

So, if he was honest, then no, he would have never come back if his mother hadn’t asked him.

Matthew seemed to realise the same, for he just looked down on his glass filled with Champaign and didn’t pursue the question further.

“Are we really that evil?” he asked instead.

“You´re not evil,” Phillip replied, a different answer from the one he would have given a few years ago. “Father and mother are just set in their ways and James, well, he has decided to walk them, too. I´ve never fit in here and I´ve been better ever since I realised that.”

And as Phillip said that aloud he realised that it was true. Maybe there was love between them, maybe his parents really cared about him, but that didn’t really matter when those feelings could only be expressed in such a violate way. Poison was still poison, even if it tasted nice and Phillip had realised long ago, that love was not only trust, caring and warmth, but also possessiveness, hurt and control.

He owed it to no one to stay in a toxic environment just in the name of ‘family’. Sometimes, family was the worst environment you could be in. Sometimes, family were the ones to hurt you the most.

“What happened? What happened to us?” Matthew asked.

“We all chose our sides,” Phillip replied. “You chose to keep sitting at the table while I walked away.”

“I never wanted you to leave,” Matthew insisted. “I tried to talk father out of his decision, but he wouldn’t be swayed. And then I tried to talk to you, but you were already gone with no way of contacting you. Years you´ve been away without a word and then mother suddenly announced that you were coming to her party after she got your number from a private detective she hired.”

Phillip didn’t know what he was supposed to do with that revelation. He had always assumed that Matthew had sided with their father, had agreed with all that he had said all those years ago. To hear that he had, indeed, tried to get Phillip to stay threw him out of kilter.

“The past is the past,” Phillip replied. “I came back once, to introduce Anne to father and mother and have regretted it ever since. We can´t change what happened, though.”

“But we can still shape our future,” Matthew retorted. “So, just promise me that you won´t just vanish after this. Leave me a way to contact you.”

Phillip looked at his brother, the tiredness in his posture, the worry etched in his expression and found himself nodding. They probably wouldn’t be able to get back to what they had been before, this unfaltering, unquestioned and unconditional loyalty, this closeness, this absence of all sort of secrets, but they could try at least to regain some of it.

Something their father hadn’t ruined. Something he couldn’t touch.

“Let´s get our significant others, then,” Matthew suggested, looking for Rachel and Phineas. “I never took you for the marrying type. At least not someone like Phineas.”

“What´s that supposed to mean?” Phillip asked defensively.

“Someone so colourful and live-affirming,” Matthew clarified. “I thought some deeply philosophical art major would be more your type.” Phillip rolled his eyes.

“Phillip, your brother´s wife is truly an astounding woman,” Phineas spoke exuberantly as the two brothers finally reached their significant others. “That´s a sister-in-law I wouldn’t mind having.”

“You´re not that bad either, Phineas,” Rachel remarked. “You gave me four ideas already how I could raise the Innocent Project´s profile.”

“And I have barely even started!” Phineas exclaimed. “What´s your opinion on Netflix documentaries?”

“Phineas, no business talk while we´re here,” Phillip admonished the older man.

“You´re no fun,” Phineas pouted. Turning his head to Rachel he stage-whispered: “We´re definitely gonna continue that talk when he´s not around.” Rachel laughed at him and linked her arms with Matthew´s. She was about to say something when her expression suddenly turned sour.

“It´s your uncle Albert,” Rachel hissed. “And his horrible wife Augusta.” Phillip and Matthew winced in unison. Phillip remembered his aunt and uncle from before and didn’t quite believe that they had mellowed out since then.

“Maybe they´re just on their way to the buffet?” Matthew suggested, a hope that was quickly dashed when Albert and Augusta determinedly walked up to them.

“Phillip!” Augusta exclaimed and threw her arms around him. “Hearing that you decided to come back has lifted my spirits considerably.”

“I´m glad to hear that, Aunt Augusta,” Phillip winced as the woman seemed to be intend on breaking at least one of his ribs.

“Matthew, Rachel,” Albert nodded at them. “Horrible, that business in Africa, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Rachel replied.

“Don´t you keep up with your home country?” Augusta asked scandalised.

“I´m American,” Rachel told the woman. “And Africa isn’t a country, it´s a continent.” Phillip had to admire the saint like patience Rachel showed. He would have already screamed at the two, because he was sure that Rachel must have told them more than once already.

“Does it matter?” Albert harrumphed. “Everyone´s poor and corrupt, no matter if they call themselves Egyptians or Syrians.” Phineas shot him an ‘Are they for real?’ look over their heads and Phillip just shrugged helplessly.

“And you!” Albert continued, turning towards Phillip. “What is it that I´m hearing about you marrying a man?! You and your god-defying ilk are the reason for the country´s decline. Aren´t you ashamed?”

“The only thing Phillip is, is sexually satisfied,” Phineas suddenly threw in. “Something that can´t be said about your wife, if we´re being totally honest here. Going by her pinched expression the last time she experienced something even remotely close to an orgasm was during the Reagan administration.” Four jaws simultaneously dropped. Unfazed, Phineas just continued: “So, if you excuse us, we have better things to do than listen to a bitter and old fossil that still thinks that the abolishment of slavery was a mistake.”

Too shocked to reply anything, Albert and Augusta just stood there while Phineas steered them away from the two. Rachel was the first of them who regained her voice.

“Holy fucking shit!” she exclaimed. “That was awesome. Did you see their faces? If I ever flatline, use this memory to jumpstart my heart again, because… _damn,_ that was the wig snatching of the century. You read them to filth, like so hard.” Phillip only understood half of the words Rachel was using, but he, too, was impressed.

“If you ever do something like that,” Rachel continued, turning to her husband. “Getting me pregnant won´t be a problem, because, _damn,_ that was hot.” Matthew showed his affiliation to the Carlyle family by turning into the brightest shade of red.

“No here,” he hissed.

“I hate bigots and I´d never turn down the chance to tear them a new one,” Phineas replied. “If you don´t speak up against them, it´ll just make them think that they´re right.”

“Preach,” Rachel agreed. “It was so nice meeting you, but I need to catch Madeleine and tell her everything. Come on, Matthew!” Phillip´s brother just shrugged helplessly and then he was already led away by the whirlwind that was his wife.

“For every horrible person in your family there seems to be also a decent one,” Phineas commented.

And for once, Phillip couldn’t disagree with him.

* * *

Phillip could barely believe it, but the rest of the day passed by without another scene or fight. He and Phineas mingled and talked with the guests, of which the majority were actually quite pleasant to talk to and then it was suddenly time to go to bed and Phillip found himself in one of the guest suites together with Phineas.

“I´ll take the couch,” Phillip offered graciously as he took in the huge king-size bed that dominated the room.

“Don´t be silly, Phillip,” Phineas replied. “The bed is big enough for the both of us.” Phillip gaped at Phineas like a fish.

“I can´t force you to share a bed with me,” he protested weakly.

“You´re not forcing me to do anything,” Phineas assured him. “And why should any of us have to sleep on the couch when there´s a perfectly fine bed?”

* * *

After a whole day of noise and movement, the silence that now penetrated the room was like soothing balm to his soul. Only the gentle splashing of the waves disrupted the otherwise absolute silence that hung over the room. The only light that illuminated the room was the moon and stars shining on the night sky, immersing everything into a slivery glow that made it look positively otherworldly. When he turned his head, he could see the water through the windows, and the light reflecting upon it like million glittering diamonds.

It was so unlike New York where everything was illuminated brightly by the shine of a thousand street lights and billboards and where cars and an ever-moving mass of people generated a constant background humming that even the thickest of windows weren’t able to keep away.

Maybe that was the reason that he couldn’t sleep, because he was so used to the noise that its sudden lack was completely throwing him off. Phillip, meanwhile, didn’t seem to have that problem as he slept soundlessly next to him.

Phineas could feel the warmth radiating from the other man, could hear his even breathing and smell a whiff of his odour in the air. He didn’t dare to move out of fear that he would wake Phillip from the slumber he more than deserved.

The sudden vibration of his phone on the nightstand tore Phineas out of his reverie. It was a message from Chastity.

_‘Did you kiss already?’_

_‘Only for show,’_ Phineas typed back.

‘:(’

 _‘What´s that supposed to mean?’_ Contrary to what many people believed, Phineas wasn’t one to use emoji in his chats. He was a man of taste, after all.

_‘It means you should just man up and tell him!!! <3’ _

_‘You know I can´t do that!’_

_‘Why?_   _:-O’_

_‘Because he doesn’t feel that way about me!!!’_

_‘You´ll never know if you don’t tell him.’_

_‘I need to sleep. Tomorrow´s another day.’_

_‘:/’_

Phineas put the phone back on the nightstand, but sleep continued to be elusive. Chastity´s words had stirred him up and now he couldn’t help but think about what she had said.

He didn’t know when exactly he had started to develop feelings for Phillip. He just knew that one moment they had been friends and the next he had looked at Phillip he had suddenly wanted to kiss him senseless. Whenever Phillip smiled Phineas whole world would lit up and whenever he crinkled his forehead because of something he had done, Phineas wanted to snatch him right there and kiss the stress away. Phillip was the solid rock to Phineas’ erratic breeze, the calming presence to his whirlwind of emotion and together they made an unstoppable team.

But Phineas would never put Phillip into the awkward situation of having to refuse his advances. He was his boss after all and the power imbalance between the two of them was just too vast for them to build a healthy relationship on it. He didn’t want to pressure Phillip into something he didn’t even want and because of that he was also deeply ashamed of how he had practically forced the younger man into this fake marriage plot.

He had panicked and now it was too late to back out of it, anyway. The only good thing that came out of it was that now surely all positive feelings Phillip may have harboured for him were truly gone and Phineas didn’t have to wonder anymore _(even if Chastity thought he should just ‘man up’ and confess)_. No, what he had right now would _(should)_ be enough: They would fake-marry and in a year they would get a divorce and maybe – if he was really, really lucky – Phillip wouldn’t hate him afterwards.

It was all such a huge mess; this knot of emotions in his stomach that he couldn’t entwine, that he didn’t know how to deal with. Usually he was so confident, but the whole situation made him feel like he was the little boy again that didn’t really know where his life was going to lead.

So Phineas continued to stare at the ceiling, his mind a maelstrom of doubt and uncertainty, until exhaustion finally took him into the realm of sleep.

* * *

Phillip was woken up by an insistent knock at the door.

“Wake up!” the unmistakable voice of Lydia shouted from behind the heavy wooden door. “I´m coming in and if you aren’t decent then it´s definitely my lucky day.” And without further warning the door swung open and granted her entrance.

Phillip didn’t know how she did it, but even that early in the _morning (alright, it was 9am, but that counted as early when you didn’t have to go to work)_ she managed to look as radiant as ever. Styled to the nines, she wore a red blouse with a white flora pattern and white hot pants that just accentuated her long and slim legs.

“Are you always this exuberant in the morning?” Phineas asked from where he was lying next to Phillip in their shared bed. Just the thought of it managed to darken Phillip´s cheeks: He had slept in the same bed as Phineas last night and how pathetic was it that this non-romantic bed sharing managed to have him that bothered? And the sight of Phineas, freshly awoken, didn’t help either: His hair was tousled and stuck into every direction, so that Phillip had to suppress the urge to just reach out and run his fingers through it; his eyes were still half closed and he was only wearing a white undershirt and boxer shorts that left nothing – really nothing – to imagination.

When Phillip looked up at Lydia and saw her smirking at him, he just knew that she was thinking the same thing as him.

“What if we hadn’t been decent?” he wanted to know.

“I´d have imprinted the picture on my mind and left,” Lydia replied. “And then I´d have used it the next time my boyfriend tries to find my G-Spot somewhere in my ovaries.”

“Out!” Phillip shouted and threw a pillow at her. Lydia just turned around and laughed while she left the room.

“Don’t take too long!” she shouted. “We have plans for that fiancé of yours!”

Groaning, Phillip just let himself fall back on the mattress and closed his eyes. As long as he didn’t leave the bed, the day couldn’t start and therefore he didn’t have to face all of his relatives that had decided to stay (which were probably a lot more than originally planned just because of his upcoming nuptials). He was very much aware that this kind of five-year-old´s logic wouldn’t hold up to the harsh realities of the world, but he could dream, couldn’t he?

“Shouldn’t we stand up before your delightful friend decides to come back?” he heard Phineas speaking.

“She´s not delightful,” Phillip mumbled back. “She´s the Devil incarnate. Whoever wrote that the Devil was a man has obviously never met Lydia.” He could hear Phineas chuckling and then a weight was suddenly lifted off the mattress. Apparently, the other man had decided to obey Lydia´s orders and stood up to wash up and put on his clothes.

“Traitor,” Phillip cursed, but ultimately, he opened his eyes and sat up, just as Phineas vanished in the en-suite bathroom. Phillip could hear the click of the door closing and then the shower starting. Standing up Philip pulled out his phone and headphones from his bag and put them into his ears.

As the epic sounds of Hans Zimmer flooded his mind, Phillip began with his usual weekend morning yoga routine. Usually, he did that in the living room of his small apartment, but fortunately for him the guestroom his parents had accommodated him and Phineas had a balcony overlooking the whole Dering Harbour Bay; a view which Phillip didn’t want to miss.

The fresh air and the exercise helped were like balm to his soul, helping Phillip to clear his mind and forget all his worries. As the beats of the music reverberated through his bones and his muscles sang in sweet pain, Phillip could cast all of his worries aside and concentrate only on the here and now: On the sun sparkling on the water, on the wind wafting through his hair, the smell of salt and earth in the air and the dozens of ships that sailed across the water like toys in a bathtub.

His refuge didn’t last long, though; it never did. After he had finished all of his usual routines, Phillip stood up and took a deep breath. Time to face the day. He walked back into the room and looked at the bathroom door. Still closed, so Phineas still wasn’t finished. That meant that Phillip could risk changing in the room. He wiggled out of his shirt and slid off his boxers, but then he realised that his bag with fresh clothes was on the other side of the bed.

So, Phillip turned around…and walked directly into an equally naked Phineas. Spitting out various curses Phillip landed on his back, Phineas landing right atop of him. Phillip could feel every stretch of skin, could feel the heat emerging from the other man, every single hair on his body.

And also Phineas’ flaccid cock that was rubbing against his thigh.

“What the fuck?!” Phillip shouted, trying very hard to not think about what was going on south of his navel.

“There were no towels in the bathroom, so I went looking for some,” Phineas told him and how the hell did the man manage to appear this unfazed by their situation. Phillip was pretty sure that he was red as a tomato. “I decided to go looking for some when you ran into me.”

“Just get off me!” Phillip exclaimed and tried to extricate himself from the other man. But due to Phineas trying the same, they ended up falling back on the ground, only this time with Phineas on the floor and Phillip atop of him.

“This doesn’t seem to work,” Phineas quipped unhelpfully.

“I noticed,” Phillip grounded back. By now he was mostly just annoyed, so everything even remotely erotic about this situation had vanished. “Just don’t move, okay?”

“Kinky, but okay.” Phillip flushed even redder, but he decided to ignore Phineas’ inappropriate joke.

“I hope you´re finished by now because we´re about to leave…OH MY GOD!”

“OUT!”

* * *

“So, what are we doing today?” Phineas asked as the whole company found itself in front of the Carlyle mansion. Phillip still had a little red tint to his skin, which suited him quite fine if one was to ask Phineas for his opinion. While the situation mere minutes before had been quite embarrassing for both of them, Phineas couldn’t have helped himself and had snuck a little peak _(a big peak, to be honest, but nobody needed to know that)_ at Phillip´s physique and he had to admit that what he had seen had deeply impressed him.

Not a single gram of unnecessary fat, solid muscle and defined lines made the other man look like a young Adonis and Phineas had thanked every deity there is that Phillip hadn’t noticed the blood that had suddenly rushed to his groin. Though, going by his reaction, Phillip hadn’t minded that much either.

“You´ll be with Rachel, Aunt Gertrude and me,” Lydia said, pointing at Phineas’ chest. “We´re going to Greenport and have a nice girls’ day out.”

“I´m no girl,” Phineas pointed out while Phillip next to him just snorted.

“An astute observation,” Gertrude threw in. Even though she had to be at least sixty years old, she still had this diva aura that only a few women possessed. Her whole appearance spoke of refinement and sophistication while her eyes shone with the strength of someone who knew of their strength and wasn’t afraid to show others. “But we want to get to know you dear, before the others can sink their claws into you.” Phineas arched an eyebrow at the woman.

“What will Phillip be doing then?” he asked instead.

“Oh, he´s gonna join the rest of the family at Gardiner´s Bay Country Club,” Rachel informed him. “It´s just a five-minute walk away. My father-in-law has booked it for the whole day, so that no one will disturb the little family get-together.” Going by her expression, Rachel would rather gouge out her own eyes with a rusty fork than go to a country club.

“It´s terrible dreadful business,” Gertrude remarked. “The women just sip cocktails and shag up with the caddies while the men try to compensate for their lack of sexual prowess with double bogeys and eagles.”

“Aunt Gertrude!” Lydia exclaimed mock-scandalised. Phineas could already tell that he would like the formidable older woman.

“Why do I have to go with them, then?” Phillip pouted.

“Because your mother asked you to, young man,” Gertrude scolded. “Your family´s in a sorry state and I know that most of it isn’t your fault, but my sister´s really trying, so the least you could do is listen to her at least once.” Phillip´s mouth snapped shut instantly.

“Cheer up, dear,” Phineas told him. “We´ll see each other again in a few hours.” And because he felt especially daring right now he even placed a fleeting kiss on Phillip´s cheek.

“Alright,” the other man grumbled. “See you later.”


	4. Rewrite The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theirs wasn´t quite a happy end, but it was something and for that Phillip was grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We´re finally earning that explicit rating *winks* 
> 
> Thanks to all of you who kudos-ed (is that even a word) and commented, it really means the world to me. I don´t know if I´ll ever write another story in this fandom (because I have, like, five new projects for other fandoms in my mind already) but I certainly will come back to read all the awesome story others publish here ^^

Travelling back to Greenport by boat with the three ladies was different than taking the trip with Phillip had been, Phineas mused as he cricked his neck so that the sun would shine on his face. Lydia and Rachel were leaning against the railing like supermodels, their outfits on point while the wind tousled their hair in a way that made it look artful instead of the mess that it should be. Both were wearing dark sunglasses that made them look like they had just come out of a glossy magazine. Gertrude, meanwhile, was sitting on one of the benches, looking as regal and sophisticated as if she was at a gala instead of a boat trip.

Honestly, the only one here who was a kind of a mess was Phillip, who had to put great effort into not falling over the railing into the cold water. He wasn’t born for this, he supposed.

“Greenport isn´t big, but it´s got a lot of nice, little shops,” Lydia commented.

“We got our wedding bands from there,” Rachel added and showed Phillip the golden ring that graced her finger; a truly exquisite peace of art with dozens of small diamonds worked into it, making it appear as if they were part of the metal itself. Understated but still showing how wealthy its owner was.

“The only part of Greenport I´ve seen was its train station, so I´ll just have to trust your judgement,” Phineas laughed. “But seeing your fabulous outfits, it can´t be that off, can it?”

“I see why Phillip has taken a liking to you: You have quite the silver tongue, don´t you?” Gertrude remarked, eying Phillip over the edges of her sunglasses.

“I have many talents,” Phineas replied. “And Phillip appreciates each and every one of them.”

“I don´t doubt that,” Gertrude smirked, leaving Phineas confused as to what exactly the woman had wanted to archive with that short dialogue.

They spent the rest of the trip in silence, the only sounds surrounding them the crashing of the waves against the boat and the roaring of the small engine that moved them forward. When they reached Greenport, Alan helped the women to disembark while Phineas, trying to appear though and unruffled, tried to just jump over the gap between pier and boat. He slipped on the wet stone and would have nearly fallen back into the water if Alan hadn’t caught him and pulled him back onto solid ground.

Well, there went the good impression Phineas had tried to make.

“So, let´s get started, ladies…and gent,” Lydia exclaimed, twirling around in excitement.

“We definitely need to take Phillip to Paula´s,” Rachel threw in.

“Who´s Paula?” Phineas asked.

“Not who, what!” Gertrude corrected him.

“It´s just the best nail studio on this side of the American continent,” Lydia explained to him.

“Well, I can never say no to a little bit of manicure,” Phineas replied. “Well-cared hands make for a good first impression and you know how important that is in my field of work.”

“I can imagine,” Rachel remarked. “But first, let us stroll through the harbour. It´s such a beautiful day and I think it´s even market day.” She should be proven right when they rounded the corner and suddenly found themselves on Greenport´s main place that was packed with people and all kinds of vendors, loudly proclaiming the exquisiteness of the wares they offered. There was a gruff looking man selling various assortment of fish and other marine animals – a sailor probably – while another booth offered cheese and a third one tried to entice the onlooker with fruit that looked as fresh as if it had just been plucked from the trees.

It was something completely different from what you could find in Manhattan. This had a lot more homelier feeling to it, an atmosphere of cosiness and closeness that only small communities were able to offer.

“This market has existed longer than I can remember,” Gertrude commented with a fond look on her face. “As a child I loved to come here and discover all it had to offer. Back then I could spend the whole day here and didn’t get bored.” She sighed. “Now my body just can´t handle walking around the whole day any longer.”

“Where I came from in Germany there was this big celebration in the whole area when the farmers would wrangle the cows down from the mountain pastures to the valleys. There´d be festivities all day and food in abundance,” Phineas recounted. “There aren’t many things I miss since coming to America, but that´s definitely one of them.”

“It truly sounds lovely,” Gertrude remarked. “But let´s catch up with Lydia and Rachel before they buy up everything.”

“They wouldn’t really do that, would they?” Phineas asked, but the old lady had already vanished in the crowd.

They found Lydia and Rachel at a stall that sold fruits covered in different kinds of chocolate, Rachel munching on strawberries while Lydia enjoyed an apple covered with white chocolate.

“Does that keep the doctor away, too?” Phineas wondered out aloud. Lydia just laughed and took another bite. They strolled over the market for a while (Phineas treated himself to some cotton candy while he was at it) until Rachel and Lydia finally decided that it was time to go to Paula´s. Gertrude just looked at the two of them in exasperation, but didn’t seem that averse to it, either, so after a ten-minutes-walk Phineas found himself in a pink nightmare.

Everything was pink, literally everything. The seats, the utensils, the worker´s clothes, even the walls.

“I think I just died and went to straight to hell,” Phineas muttered.

“The décor isn’t everyone´s taste –“ Phineas snorted “- but the manicures here are truly marvellous,” Lydia told him. They were greeted by one of the employees and assigned a seat and while they worked their magic on their hands, they were free to continue talking.

“I would have never thought that Phillip would ever settle down,” Gertrude admitted. “He always was a free spirit, something his parents never understood.” She shook her head in disappointment. “But he could have chosen a lot worse.” Coming from the Carlyle matriarch this was probably some kind of compliment, so Phineas just bowed his head at her.

“I don’t know Phillip that well,” Rachel remarked, and she looked quite upset about that fact. Phineas vowed that he would bring it up to Phillip. He should at least keep in contact with his brother and his charming wife. “But the atmosphere isn´t as tense as it usual is when all of the Carlyles are in one house, so you´ve definitely done something right.” She smiled at him.

“I don’t remember the last time I´ve seen Phillip as happy as he is now,” Lydia threw in. “Maybe as child, but as he grew older he became more and more withdrawn. But seeing him with you is like seeing the old Phillip and I can´t thank you enough for that.” She looked like she wanted to grab his hand and squeezed it, but due her nails still being worked on, she just smiled at him.

Phineas returned the gesture, but inwardly he felt like the worst person to ever exist.

Those three women – all more or less integral parts of Phillip´s life – truly thought that their fake romance was as real as the manicure they were currently receiving. They looked at Phillip and him and saw two people madly in love when all they were was a scam to fool Immigration Office so that Phineas could stay in the country. They thought Phillip was set for happiness when all that awaited him in the future was a divorce and shares in Barnum Entertainment.

Shares in return for residence permit. A cold business transaction.

Right now, Rachel, Lydia and Gertrude were laughing with him, treating him like a member of the family. For Phineas, who had never had a big family to call his own, it was a complete new feeling, but it was spoiled by the knowledge that he didn’t deserve it. That he was deceiving those three women for his own personal gain. That he had wormed and coerced his way into their affection like an impostor.

And then it hit Phineas like a shot in the dark: If he was already feeling so guilty about what he was doing, then how must Phillip feel, who had known Rachel, Lydia and Gertrude for nearly his whole life? How must he feel lying to them with every breath he took? And how must he feel about Phineas, who had used his position of authority to pressure him into exactly this situation?

The answer was easy, even if it was one Phineas didn’t want to hear: Phillip must hate him and only play along out of fear for his job. How else would you feel about the man who forced you to lie to your own family?

A twinge of fear shot through Phineas’ heart. His relationship with Phillip was too important to destroy over some visa dispute. He could afford lawyers or lead his company from Europe until he was able to get back to the States. Why the fuck had his first response even been to coerce Phillip into a fake relationship with him, for God´s sake?

Only now, in the pink nightmare that was Paula´s did Phineas realise how utterly he had fucked up. And in this moment, he vowed that he would set everything right once they got back to Dering Harbour.

But until then he would enjoy the manicure.

* * *

Phillip sheltered his eyes from the sun with his right hand as he gazed over the lush green of Gardiner´s Bay Country Club. He hated golf, he truly did, but honestly, there wasn’t much else you could do on Shelter Island, beside going to expensive restaurants that all served lobster (because apparently that was a requirement for every restaurant in the Hamptons) or visiting the beach, an activity that loses much of its appeal once you realise that the water of the Atlantic was way too cool for extensive swimming (Phillip was still envious of the Californians for their beaches).

He envied Phineas for being able to spend the day with ‘The Girls’ while he was stuck with the rest of his family, all subtly trying to outdo each other. Phillip, who hadn’t set foot on a golf course for the last five years at least, held no illusion as to where his talent fell on the scale. He could count himself lucky if he played a Par on every hole.

“Isn´t this nice?” his mother commented from where she was standing next to him. Usually when the visit the club she would retire with the other women onto the veranda where they would gossip and sip cocktails while the men played their game. The equality movement of the last century had made a wide berth around the Carlyle family. That she was on the green with him had been much of a surprise. “I don’t know when we have been together like this the last time.”

A few meters away James and his father cheered when Matthew made the ball fly over the whole length of the hole directly on the green.

“It´s been quite a while,” Phillip replied nonchalantly.

“Better late than never,” his mother remarked as she looked at the other Carlyles with fondness.

“I really don’t think that this has been the family reunion you hoped for,” Phillip hinted carefully, observing how his mother would take the comment.

“It is definitely better than what was before,” his mother replied. “At least now I know that you are alive and well.” A twinge of guilt shot through Phillip as he thought about all these years in which he never contacted his family. He had needed it to heal, even if it had broken his mother´s heart. “And you did bring a nice man back.”

“Is that your attempt at being diplomatic?” Phillip wondered as he put the golf ball on the ground, taking a wide stance in order to be able to swing his golf club.

“No, I mean it,” his mother insisted. “I was not very enthusiastic at first, because of all the stories I have heard about Mr Barnum, but I have two functioning eyes, Phillip. I have seen how he looks at you when you are not. Like your father used to look at me when we were freshly in love.”

“You must imagine things then,” Phillip replied, swinging his club, watching the curve of the balls as it moved towards the other side of the field.

“I am certainly not!” his mother exclaimed. “If you did not come to tell me you were going to be married, then I would have thought that you already were!” She linked her arms with Phillip´s as they slowly made their way towards the golf ball´s new position. “I have always wanted my children to find happiness and while it pains me that yours does not involve us as much as your brothers’, I am so relieved that you found someone to share your life with.”

The admission that it was a lie, all of it, laid on Phillip´s tongue, but he bit it back. He didn’t tell his mother that he wished it was real, that he constantly needed to remind himself that it was just a business deal for Phineas while Phillip was left stewing in his own longing that grew bigger the more time he spent in the other man´s presence.

“I know that you do not care much for it, but you have my approval,” his mother continued, oblivious to Phillip´s inner turmoil. “As long as it makes you happy.”

But that was the crux of the matter, wasn’t it? It didn’t make Phillip happy. It made him miserable, sad and anxious. With every minute he spent in the presence of Phineas it became more and more difficult to separate the lie from the truth, to remind himself that whenever Phineas smiled at him it wasn’t true. Like an oppressing cloud it hung over him all the time and darkened everything he did.

Phillip hadn’t realised until his mother pointed it out, but he wasn’t as comfortable with their arrangement as he tried to convince himself he was. As long as he had been in denial of his feelings for Phineas it had been as easy as breathing, but Phillip wasn’t satisfied with the pale imitation any longer.

He wanted the real deal, because he deserved that much. And if he couldn’t have that, then he wanted a clean break.

But despite that, Phillip couldn’t just leave Phineas out in the cold. He couldn’t be the one responsible for the other man being deported; that was something that would weigh to heavily on his conscience.

He would talk to Phineas and make it clear that while he would honour their agreement, he needed more space. That they could continue to fake their relationship in front of the officials, but otherwise keep distance between them, only to interact when it was absolutely necessary. Maybe Phillip would even ask for a transfer to another department.

“What are you thinking about?” his mother asked.

“The future,” Phillip replied. “The future.”

* * *

It shouldn’t feel so difficult, Phillip thought as he stood in the middle of the room he and Phineas occupied and waited for the other man to come back from his trip to Greenport with Rachel, Lydia and Gertrude.

Ending a relationship that didn’t even exist in the first place shouldn’t feel as if the world was about to crash down all around him. It shouldn’t feel like an invisible fist had closed around his chest and was slowly squeezing all air out of his lungs. It shouldn’t feel like ash on his tongue and it shouldn’t make his heart beat as fast as it was beating right now.

Phillip noticed Phineas entering the room without even turning around. The quiet click of the door lock, the muffled sound of footsteps on the carpet, the weak draft that wafted over his skin. He turned around and found his gaze locked with Phineas’, who was regarding him with a seriousness that Phillip had never seen in the other man before.

“How was your trip with the girls?” Phillip asked, trying to delay the inevitable.

“Illuminating,” Phineas replied as he stepped closer to the window overlooking Dering Harbour.

“How so?” Phillip wanted to know.

“It shed some light on a few questions that I had to ask myself,” Phineas stated. “How was your day?”

“The same,” Phillip answered. “My mother helped me find some clarity.”

“About what?” Phineas pressed on.

“That I can´t do this anymore,” Phillip whispered. “That I can´t pretend to be your fake-fiancé when all I want is for it to be real.” He didn’t mean to say that last part out loud, it was meant to be a confession only uttered within the sanctity of his own mind, but now it was out in the open and he couldn’t take it back.

“You want it to be real?” Phineas repeated confused. Phillip nodded, not looking at Phineas out of shame for his own admission of weakness.

“Then let´s make this real,” Phineas replied. Phillip looked up at him, surprised.

“Don’t play games with me,” he snapped. He would break if Phineas didn’t stop, if he continued to pretend that he actually loved Phillip.

“I don’t play any games,” Phineas insisted. “Not with you. Never.” He took a step closer to Phillip. “I´ve wanted you for years already, but I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, to abuse the power imbalance between us. And then you were together with Anne and afterwards there was never the right opportunity. And to be honest, I didn’t think you´d reciprocate my feelings.”

Phillip couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Never, not even in his wildest dreams, did he imagine that Phineas would actually have any feelings but friendship for him. He had come to terms with the fact that there would never be anything more between them, but what they currently had: companionship and friendship but never love. But to hear the older man confess that he, too, had laboured under the same misconceptions was freeing in a way Phillip couldn’t quite express. It felt like he could finally breath without an invisible hand squeezing the air out if his lungs; like there was some new sort of strength flowing through his veins with which he could take on the whole world.

“Do you really mean that?” Phillip asked, one last time to make absolutely sure that this wasn’t some kind of dream, some kind of mirage his mind had made up to escape into a better world.

“I really do,” Phineas replied unwaveringly. “So I ask for real this time: Do you, Phillip Carlyle, want to marry me, not as fake, but for the whole world to see?” Phillip had to pull himself together to not start crying on the spot, but he accomplished it and even manged to press out a mangled “I do” before Phineas’ mouth was already on his.

The kiss wasn’t romantic. It was primal and wild, possessive in a way that Phillip had never been kissed before, but he didn’t mind. No, he really didn’t. Phineas kissed like he wanted to stake a claim on him and Phillip let him, because he wanted the same. He let his hands roam over Phineas – over his broad chest, his firm arms and his muscular back – and delighted at the thought that all this was his to discover, his to explore.

Maybe it had taken them a long time, but now they were finally where they were supposed to be and Phillip wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I want this shirt off,” Phineas whispered hoarsely when they needed to break apart to grasp for air. He started to fumble with the buttons on Phillip´s shirt while Phillip did the same. It was an uncoordinated mess and took longer than necessary, but finally Phillip had Phineas’ chest exposed and he definitely liked what he saw. And from the way Phineas was taking him in, the older man wasn’t disappointed either.

“You´re so sexy,” Phineas whispered. He began to shower Phillip´s neck and collar bone with kisses, exploring every section of exposed skin he could find. Phillip threw back his head when Phineas began to suck at his nipples. Electricity was surging through his body from wherever Phineas touched him and Phillip had never felt so powerful – so invincible – as he was feeling now.

He helped Phineas out of his shirt and then pushed the man against the nearby counter. Phillip´s mouth was on Phineas´ within seconds, their naked upper bodies touching. Phillip was hard as a rock and from what he felt, Phineas was as, too. They rubbed against each other, trying to find friction, chasing elusive ecstasy.

This time it was Phillip who broke their kiss, making Phineas let out a disappointed keen which soon turned into a lustful moan as Phillip sank down on his knees, his head finally right in front of Phineas´ crotch.  

After a few well practiced movements Phineas´ cock sprang free from the confinement of his boxers and Phillip salivated at the sight of it. Long, curved and with only the feintest traces of brunette hair at its base.

“Phillip,” Phineas keened, his eyes filled with desire. It was an empowering moment for Phillip, seeing Phineas like this – having him at his mercy – and knowing that he had been the one to get the other man there and they hadn’t even started really.

Phillip lapped at Phineas´ sac, playing with his tight balls. Phineas threw his head back and groaned. Then Phillip licked a broad stripe along the length of Phineas´ cock, circling its head with his tongue before he swallowed it down with one go.

“Fuuuuck!” Phineas shouted, desperately trying to thrust into Phillip´s mouth, but Phillip´s hands on his hip kept him fixated. Phillip allowed himself a dry laugh, which reverberated around Phineas´ dick in his mouth, managing to elicit another broken groan from Phineas. Business models weren’t the only thing you learned in College.

Finally, Phillip´s throat had adjusted to Phineas´ cock and so he let go of Phineas, allowing the other man to fuck him as fast as he wanted. Phineas´ thrusts were tender and shallow at first, but when he noticed how good Phillip was taking it, he began to pistol his hips back and forth faster and faster, until he was truly fucking Phillip´s face as rough as Phillip loved it.

“I imagined this, you know,” Phineas spoke within thrusts. “You, on your knees in front of me, sucking me off. Maybe under my desk, there´s certainly enough space for it. And then someone would come in, but you´d continue, because you´d love the thrill of maybe being discovered.”

Phillip groaned around Phineas’ cock because, damn, if that wasn’t an imagine that made his cock ache even harder, then none would. He continued to suck, nibble and blow until Phineas’ thrusts became more erratic, a sure sign that he was about to come.

“I´m close,” the older man panted, but Phillip didn’t stop. One last thrust and then Phineas was coming down his throat, the salty taste exploding on his tongue. It didn’t last long and when it ended, Phillip let go of Phineas’ now flaccid cock and stood up on wobbly knees.

“Woah,” he spoke, his voice rough and used from the best blow job he had ever given.

“You were magnificent,” Phineas praised him as he kneaded Phillip´s tense shoulders with his hands, eliciting a shudder from the younger man. “I can´t wait to have you all the way.” Phillip shuddered again, delicious images popping up in his mind.

“I´m glad that we came here,” Phineas continued. “Even though I wouldn’t mind half of your family being marooned on an uninhabited island somewhere in the Atlantic.”

“You talking of my family kinda ruins the afterglow,” Phillip groused. “But yeah, I´m happy, too, that everything happened as it did.”

“Now we just have to pass the Immigration Office´s test and we´ll be set,” Phineas remarked.

“We´ve made it this far,” Phillip replied. “We´ll manage this as well.” And as he looked at Phineas, half naked, content and finally his, he truly believed that there was nothing in this world that could stop them.

It was time for them to rewrite the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are love <3


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